No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
