I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
