The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
