I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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