barbara walters just said penis...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
