it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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