I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
