Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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