if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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