You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
