Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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