I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
