I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
