Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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