Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
