there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
