Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
