You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
