my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
