I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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