So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
