I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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