it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This baby is an asshole
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
