Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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