Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
