What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
