HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We are all done wearing pants today
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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