Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
