So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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