she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
well you can't waste a boner
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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