we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
