i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
