so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
