drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
