I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
