; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
