She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
