Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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