No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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