I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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