I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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