I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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