At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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