another moral hangover. fuck.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
