How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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