No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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