Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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