thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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