my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
