That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
