i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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