you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
