My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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