Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
