i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
